What happens when the reward actually punishes you?

We rang in SUMMER this weekend by ending school and packing my office, visiting 2 different lakes, and watching my son learn to kneeboard AND ride his new "big" dirtbike (who also involved learning the clutch and the kick start) with great success! We partied with our friends and then honored our fallen military with our fellow gym buddies by collectively completing the hero workout Murph. (which - sidebar - I love that by working out we are creating more stamina in our bodies to enjoy more of the freedom those brave soldiers fought and died to give us.)

But, I didn't open this tab to write about Murph. I opened this tab because my son asked me a question yesterday that got me thinking. Here's what he asked.

"Mom, I know you said I did so awesome this weekend on my dirt bike and knee board. Could my reward be not wearing sunscreen today?"

I just blinked at him. Isn't your reward the experience!? Not wearing sunscreen isn't happening - that's no reward, you're going to be miserable! (we're talking light skin and red hair). At the end of the day, he was just fishing for a way to get out of wearing sunscreen, but there's a lesson in there. A powerful one.

We, as adults, do this to ourselves all the time. Especially women. Especially when it comes to our health. The real time scenario that I was grappling with literally as he was asking me this absurd question was regarding food. Shocker. You've probably been there too. We eat healthy, our bodies start feeling great and looking great and then, once we've done it for a little while, we "reward" ourselves by doing something that is damaging in some way. For me - it was diving face first into the dessert bar at the party we were at. I not only set myself back in getting the few vanity pounds off before vacation, but I royally pissed off my entire digestive system - a system that is finicky on a good day. It felt like a reward, but in reality it left me bloated, constipated, lowered my confidence and made me mentally frustrated with myself. That is a punishment, not a reward.

So, what can I do next time? Because, isn't the point of an eye-opening moment like this to act differently next time. Truthfully, one dessert isn't a big deal - unless it opens a door you can't close. In which case, grab some fruit or some coffee. Find a reward that's truly a reward. And maybe the reward IS the experience. A life you don't have to mask or cover. One filled with confidence, vibrancy and.. you know, normal poop.

Just don't punish your future self with the reward you choose. She's counting on you.